The Southwest vs. the Northeast: Obvious and Not-So-Obvious Differences

 

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In the Southwest, folks frequently say canyon, rocks, and “gnarly outcroppings” to give a sense of scenery. Case in point: This slot canyon (above) near the Arizona/Utah border.

Conversely, in the Northeast, we frequently use words such as trees, forest, and ticks to describe the landscape. Example: This New York State lake in the height of spring (below):

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This is what scholars would call a fairly obvious difference.

Other differences between these two regions of the USA, however, are not quite so apparent. Let’s go over a few.

 

-When I gamble in the Northeast (Mohegan Sun; Foxwoods), I almost always end up losing money—to the tunes of hundreds or even thousands of pennies.

-In Vegas, I’m able to make back ten times what I gambled!

Note: I used a sample size of one. Also, in Vegas, I gambled one dollar. My winnings didn’t even cover my Pad See Ew at dinner.

 

 

-In Arizona, locals enjoy deep-fried food such as Navajo Indian Frybread (below). They take something that already has zero nutrition, and proceed to fry it, then top the whole shebang with cinnamon, sugar, honey, fruit syrups, chocolate, and other calories.

-In New York, we would never serve food like that. We believe in frying things that are already bad for you. Any street festival will provide offerings such as deep-fried Oreos, deep-fried cheesecake, and bacon. Deep-fried (below). Photo by Victor Vic

 

-In California and any states in the Southwest, Mexican food is popular and delicious. Restaurants provide complimentary topping “bars” filled with delicious taco spreads such as salsas, veggies, hot sauces, and slaws.

-In New York, Mexican eateries are run by Chinese immigrants. No one knows why this is a thing, but it is. Besides, how else would you get #29—a Chinese bean curd soft taco served with peppers, onions, and Chinese hot sauce?

 

-In the Southwest, people are friendly.

-No.

 

-In New Hampshire, vehicles travel in groups of four. IMG_5846-LRsmall-logo-2

-Same thing in Utah, actually.

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-In all of New England, there are multiple shades of green on trees, bushes, shrubs, grasses, river plants, and more.

-In California, there’s only one shade of green, and it’s sold at “medical” dispensaries.

Note: Keep the not-actually-ironic pity snickers to yourself.

 

-In California and Arizona, the sky is pink whether it’s sunrise, sunset, or in between.

-New Jersey is polluted. [photo redacted]

 

-In Arizona and Utah, lines are drawn by nature over time, and brought out in beautiful red-and-white sandstone.

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-In New York City, no one knows where to draw the line–hence why we have park-wide pillow fights that result in many smiles and even more bruises.

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-In Arizona, weather changes faster than 5,023 snaps of the fingers. The two photos below were taken while standing in the same place, but turned 90 degrees.

-In all of New England, we get approximately 5 months of snow and ice followed by 5 months of ridiculously hot summers. For a few weeks in between we usually celebrate spring and fall (below).

 

-What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

-What happens in Atlantic City is too depressing to even talk about.

 

In summation, you can see that these two distinct areas of our nation are different in remarkable ways. Whether it’s flora, friendliness, food, or more, we must celebrate our country’s amazing diversity. Next up: Rednecks of Arkansas vs. rednecks of Kentucky: Wal-Mart edition.

Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid of the Dark: Night Photography Edition

Let me clear something up right away. If you are aware there’s a burgeoning ghost population, live in a high nighttime murder density population, have coyotes known to seek out human flesh specifically when it’s dark out, really feel that Sean Hannity rubs you the wrong way, don’t have a penchant for fruitcake, can’t get over the fact that white chocolate isn’t actually chocolate, or positively can’t shake the feeling that monsters are indeed in your closet—though statistically that’s only true 19% of the time—then you absolutely should feel afraid of the dark. But for those of us who realize that the darkness holds more mystery than fear, well, nighttime photography can be the most awesome thing since sliced bread.

If you’ve done night photography before, you know of the new worlds that can be discovered. If you haven’t, you should take a chance and try it sometime, for it’s so much more than photographing stars or the moon. When you turn your flashlight off and let your eyes adjust while taking short or long exposures, you realize that it’s a way to see everything with a new perspective. Everyday objects become shadow shapes. Your ears almost become supersonic, and your mind tries to trick you. The sky is incredible, and if you’ve never stood outside and stared up for at least 10 minutes, you’re missing out on realizing how small we really are—and how much of the solar system we know absolutely nothing about.

There are different techniques that can be used in night photography—long exposures, light painting, star trailing, stacking, reflecting, etc.—but instead of explaining it, I’ll post a few photos from my recent trip out west. California and Utah’s rocky landscapes in particular made for fascinating nighttime shoots, and no rattlesnakes attacked me while I was out in the desert, alone, at 2 a.m.

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A Road Trip or a Baby? I’ll Take a Road Trip for 2, Bob.

Life is a balancing act. Are you a road trip or baby kinda balancing act?

Life is a balancing act. Are you a road trip or baby kinda balancing act?

I thought the past few years were busy, but apparently 2014 is Year of the Second Baby. Oh, and I also have 6 or 7 weddings to attend this summer alone. In fact, my dumbphone, Facebook, and Pintwittergram are filled with so many dirty diaper stories, horrific bridesmaid dresses, and baby mugs that it’s not even worth logging on anymore. Oh, stop taking offense. You feel the exact same way–or did before you got all preggers on us.

I thought to myself, you know what would look really great juxtaposed with your baby’s adorable double chin? Some rocky landscapes and arches. So I took off to California for a roadtrip to Arizona and Utah.*

*Presence of baby photos not actual reason for trip.

Off I flew to the America Southwest(ish) to visit my outdoor adventure-photography-food friend, Vic. As we started off with the eating part—we were attending the country’s largest food fair for 3 days while in L.A.—I started to realize that the thoughts, worries, and daily choices I was being forced to make while traveling were not all that different from my baby-readying, kid-rearin’, and/or wedding-planning friends. We all have choices to make.

The choices were pretty simple at first.

Them: What color do we paint the baby’s room: vomituitous pink or stale pale blue?

Me: What chocolate-covered berry flavor do choose: raspberry, acai, or blueberry?

 

Or a few days later:

Them: How do I hide the growing baby bump w/ a shirt?

Me: Which shirt do I wear at Food Show: Day 3 in order to hide my personal obesity epidemic?

 

And later still:

Them: The baby’s one year old. I should start getting my body back in shape.

Me: Nope.

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But pretty soon, we all face unforeseen challenges.

Them: After a few months of marriage, we realized that not every situation will be black and white; after all, marriages and parenting are often about compromise.

Me: After a few frames, I realized that black and white photography works really well in the desert

Them: He started to snore, and it ruined our sleep. What do I try: Breathe-Right nasal strips, sleeping in separate rooms, or gently waking him up?

Me: My camping buddy started snoring, so I immediately smacked him. When that didn’t do the job, I placed my pillow over his mouth and held it firmly in place for a few minutes.

 

Them: That bridesmaid looks so awkward in that photo! My groomsmen and I all look normal…what happened on that side?

Me: Every photo I’m in looks awkward. 

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Them: Let’s make sure we get child #1 on a strict bedtime schedule. 8 p.m.?

Me: Let’s make sure I have no schedule so I can go out and photograph night timelapses at 8 p.m., 2 a.m., or 6 a.m.

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Them: Let’s get another photo with the baby! 

Me: Why am I holding a baby pug?

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Conversations can get pretty ugly.

Them: Every time you say “jump,” am I supposed to say “how high”?! I’m not your servant, SWEETIE.

Me: How high do you want me to jump?

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[Awesome photo by Victor Vic Photo]

But in the end, it often works out. Well, 50% of the time it ends in divorce and custody battles, but for the other 50%, it often works out! You see, we’re really not all that different, you and I.

 

Photographing a Fighting Championship–Food Edition

Every once in a while, an event comes along that I just absolutely love photographing. Well, that’s a lie. I love photographing most an yevent, especially if free food is involved and there are no celebrity fist fights. Okay, I’ve never actually seen one of those, but I sure would have loved if Rachael Ray had thrown a punch at her husband back at that event in 2006. It would have spiced things up a bit. The event I’m speaking of is all about food. And for me, it’s free. Heck, it’s even better than free when you’re paid to do it! Culinary Fight Night pits two chefs against each other in a live, 3-course, head-to-head battle staged in a regulation-size boxing ring. Each chef has a sous-chef at his side to help cook an appetizer, entrée, and dessert using three secret ingredients. These bonus ingredients range from Lap Xoung (Chinese sausage) to Lucky Charms to cuttlefish ink. It’s never not exciting! You might say that Culinary Fight Night seems to be copying Chopped, but in fact founder Walt Henderson started CFN in Atlanta many years ago—before Chopped and similar shows existed. Also, this live “show” has the added stress of cooking for a live audience. Downstairs in the kitchen of the restaurant where the event is held, a team of 6-10 more chefs (along with the competing chefs before and in between dishes) are busy preparing mini versions of each dish to serve to an audience of more than 80. As you can imagine, it gets pretty hectic both in the kitchen and on the floor. But what matters most is not what the paying audience members think: It’s what the panel of five judges feel that ultimately determines the winner. Of course, since I get backstage passes to eat all of the food, am I not the winner as well? No, because the real winner gets $1,500 for themselves and $1,500 for a charity of their choice. Winners advance after each round and eventually compete in the March 2014 finals, where one will win $10,000. Not bad, not bad at all. It’s a lot of work and running around for me, but it is also the most fun I’ve had photographing an event since my work on the Food Network sets. Don’t get too hungry, aight? And if you’re in New York City in the next couple of months, maybe I’ll see you stuffing your face at the next CFN round! I’ll photograph you doing it, of course.