The Southwest vs. the Northeast: Obvious and Not-So-Obvious Differences

 

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In the Southwest, folks frequently say canyon, rocks, and “gnarly outcroppings” to give a sense of scenery. Case in point: This slot canyon (above) near the Arizona/Utah border.

Conversely, in the Northeast, we frequently use words such as trees, forest, and ticks to describe the landscape. Example: This New York State lake in the height of spring (below):

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This is what scholars would call a fairly obvious difference.

Other differences between these two regions of the USA, however, are not quite so apparent. Let’s go over a few.

 

-When I gamble in the Northeast (Mohegan Sun; Foxwoods), I almost always end up losing money—to the tunes of hundreds or even thousands of pennies.

-In Vegas, I’m able to make back ten times what I gambled!

Note: I used a sample size of one. Also, in Vegas, I gambled one dollar. My winnings didn’t even cover my Pad See Ew at dinner.

 

 

-In Arizona, locals enjoy deep-fried food such as Navajo Indian Frybread (below). They take something that already has zero nutrition, and proceed to fry it, then top the whole shebang with cinnamon, sugar, honey, fruit syrups, chocolate, and other calories.

-In New York, we would never serve food like that. We believe in frying things that are already bad for you. Any street festival will provide offerings such as deep-fried Oreos, deep-fried cheesecake, and bacon. Deep-fried (below). Photo by Victor Vic

 

-In California and any states in the Southwest, Mexican food is popular and delicious. Restaurants provide complimentary topping “bars” filled with delicious taco spreads such as salsas, veggies, hot sauces, and slaws.

-In New York, Mexican eateries are run by Chinese immigrants. No one knows why this is a thing, but it is. Besides, how else would you get #29—a Chinese bean curd soft taco served with peppers, onions, and Chinese hot sauce?

 

-In the Southwest, people are friendly.

-No.

 

-In New Hampshire, vehicles travel in groups of four. IMG_5846-LRsmall-logo-2

-Same thing in Utah, actually.

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-In all of New England, there are multiple shades of green on trees, bushes, shrubs, grasses, river plants, and more.

-In California, there’s only one shade of green, and it’s sold at “medical” dispensaries.

Note: Keep the not-actually-ironic pity snickers to yourself.

 

-In California and Arizona, the sky is pink whether it’s sunrise, sunset, or in between.

-New Jersey is polluted. [photo redacted]

 

-In Arizona and Utah, lines are drawn by nature over time, and brought out in beautiful red-and-white sandstone.

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-In New York City, no one knows where to draw the line–hence why we have park-wide pillow fights that result in many smiles and even more bruises.

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-In Arizona, weather changes faster than 5,023 snaps of the fingers. The two photos below were taken while standing in the same place, but turned 90 degrees.

-In all of New England, we get approximately 5 months of snow and ice followed by 5 months of ridiculously hot summers. For a few weeks in between we usually celebrate spring and fall (below).

 

-What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

-What happens in Atlantic City is too depressing to even talk about.

 

In summation, you can see that these two distinct areas of our nation are different in remarkable ways. Whether it’s flora, friendliness, food, or more, we must celebrate our country’s amazing diversity. Next up: Rednecks of Arkansas vs. rednecks of Kentucky: Wal-Mart edition.

A Road Trip or a Baby? I’ll Take a Road Trip for 2, Bob.

Life is a balancing act. Are you a road trip or baby kinda balancing act?

Life is a balancing act. Are you a road trip or baby kinda balancing act?

I thought the past few years were busy, but apparently 2014 is Year of the Second Baby. Oh, and I also have 6 or 7 weddings to attend this summer alone. In fact, my dumbphone, Facebook, and Pintwittergram are filled with so many dirty diaper stories, horrific bridesmaid dresses, and baby mugs that it’s not even worth logging on anymore. Oh, stop taking offense. You feel the exact same way–or did before you got all preggers on us.

I thought to myself, you know what would look really great juxtaposed with your baby’s adorable double chin? Some rocky landscapes and arches. So I took off to California for a roadtrip to Arizona and Utah.*

*Presence of baby photos not actual reason for trip.

Off I flew to the America Southwest(ish) to visit my outdoor adventure-photography-food friend, Vic. As we started off with the eating part—we were attending the country’s largest food fair for 3 days while in L.A.—I started to realize that the thoughts, worries, and daily choices I was being forced to make while traveling were not all that different from my baby-readying, kid-rearin’, and/or wedding-planning friends. We all have choices to make.

The choices were pretty simple at first.

Them: What color do we paint the baby’s room: vomituitous pink or stale pale blue?

Me: What chocolate-covered berry flavor do choose: raspberry, acai, or blueberry?

 

Or a few days later:

Them: How do I hide the growing baby bump w/ a shirt?

Me: Which shirt do I wear at Food Show: Day 3 in order to hide my personal obesity epidemic?

 

And later still:

Them: The baby’s one year old. I should start getting my body back in shape.

Me: Nope.

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But pretty soon, we all face unforeseen challenges.

Them: After a few months of marriage, we realized that not every situation will be black and white; after all, marriages and parenting are often about compromise.

Me: After a few frames, I realized that black and white photography works really well in the desert

Them: He started to snore, and it ruined our sleep. What do I try: Breathe-Right nasal strips, sleeping in separate rooms, or gently waking him up?

Me: My camping buddy started snoring, so I immediately smacked him. When that didn’t do the job, I placed my pillow over his mouth and held it firmly in place for a few minutes.

 

Them: That bridesmaid looks so awkward in that photo! My groomsmen and I all look normal…what happened on that side?

Me: Every photo I’m in looks awkward. 

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Them: Let’s make sure we get child #1 on a strict bedtime schedule. 8 p.m.?

Me: Let’s make sure I have no schedule so I can go out and photograph night timelapses at 8 p.m., 2 a.m., or 6 a.m.

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Them: Let’s get another photo with the baby! 

Me: Why am I holding a baby pug?

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Conversations can get pretty ugly.

Them: Every time you say “jump,” am I supposed to say “how high”?! I’m not your servant, SWEETIE.

Me: How high do you want me to jump?

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[Awesome photo by Victor Vic Photo]

But in the end, it often works out. Well, 50% of the time it ends in divorce and custody battles, but for the other 50%, it often works out! You see, we’re really not all that different, you and I.

 

Water Droplet Photography

Let’s face it: Even if we have the time, few of us have the money to travel every day of the year. But that doesn’t mean the photography has to stop! Find a free hour and set up a small mini-studio for capturing water up close, and you’ll learn quite a bit from experimentation. By using common household items such as a gimlet, the fossil of a Baryonyx’s femur, and a scarificator, it’s easy to get incredible results. Take enough frames and eventually you’ll end up with fascinating macro photos of water drops, patterns in water, water collisions, and more. Actually it’s not easy at all, but when you get the results you’re looking for, the results are awfully fun to look at! The following are some of my favorite experimental water photos, many of which I took just this week. Only a few have been edited at all; most are directly from the camera–so know no tomfoolery is involved. Enjoy, and feel free to ask about specific techniques!

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